Creating Boundaries Creates Happiness: Part 2
How did implementing Part 1 go for you on our series about creating boundaries? It can be a very busy time of year, so hopefully you're getting a lot of practice on saying "no" to too many activities and commitments. If you're struggling, I encourage you not to give up and keep trying.
Today we're moving on to Part 2..."It's Not My Job To Fix Others". Personally, I have done a lot of self-work over the past 8 years or so to accept I can't fix other people, and it's been one of the most rewarding steps regarding boundaries I've implemented. Learning you can't help everyone with their problems takes constant, conscience self-reminding and work. It requires balancing act between being a giver and lover and becoming a co-dependent mess.
People that are extreme "fixers" usually want to help others with their issues so much that they will inconvenience theirselves to the point that they are suffering mentally, financially, spiritually, physically...just to feel like they were part of a solution. Just to see that person they are "helping" smile. It can become addictive to be a fixer. Don't get me wrong, we need givers and fixers in the world. It's something to be proud of, not a character flaw or weakness like some people might try to make you believe. But when another person's energy is taking over your own peace, that is a problem in your own growth that must be dealt with.
I love broken people so much- they are my people because I am broken too! BUT I've learned I cannot and will not save them. Ever. This is the most important fact you must realize when working to overcome the need to "fix" someone else.
If you find yourself making excuses for someone consistently, you give to that person until your tank is empty, if you find yourself spending more time getting wrapped up in their world, rather than your own, or maybe you are needing to take more and more "breaks" from someone's energy; it may be time to set some boundaries, including realizing YOU will not be the one to fix them.
Stop making excuses for them to others, stop "helping" for a week or a month, stop putting their needs ahead of your own. Instead of spending your energy on fixing someone else, use that time and thoughtfulness on yourself. You will not ever regret working on yourself and stepping back from drama.